As I type this as a personal affront, and not just a natural
progression in the Assassin’s Creed series that is actually a callback
to the first game which I completed anyway. (hurblearblarbpoopoopoo)
So, Assassin’s Creed 3 looks amazing. Pee-your-pants amazing. I’m
an avid fan of this series, and have it and the Vita bundle on
pre-order. Even despite finding out that there is no way to heal
yourself during battle, I will get the game and I will play it. I will
play it hard.
But really? Where are all my drunk assassin jokes going to go now? I
can’t be the only one thinking that Ezio in AC:Revelations saying,
“This will dull the pain.” means the medicine is liquor. Or when the
doctor in Rome in AC:Brotherhood told Ezio he was old and so all he
could do was help with the pain, that he was basically doing the Italian
version of, “Here, drink vodka, vodka will make pain better, comrade!”
I’m just really bad at video games. Well, mostly because my most
defining exposure to video games of recent years has been the Devil May
Cry series, which… explains why I drive assassins and zombie killers
like tanks. I can never nail stealth missions, and I almost always fail
at free running. Who else spent the last part of Brotherhood not
realizing it was the last part, and half their armor was damaged and
things wouldn’t stop? I know that was me, at least.
So, I’m intimidated by the lack of in-battle healing abilities. I
hope that it works sort of like in the first game where there was no
medicine, but if you danced around long enough without being hit, you
could retrieve health.
…of course, many missions are times, so maybe not. “Full
Synchronization Failed” is burned into my eyeballs, I see it so much.
(I’m getting better, but mostly on third and fourth replays.)
Either way, I still love you, Ubisoft. Other than this flaw, things look perfect.
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