Finding yourself struggling with Ignis wanting to 'practice' in Lestallum, only to be promptly laid on your ass by him? Yeah, I was, too.
SUMMARY:
The Flame Shield.
Beat the everliving hell out of that blind man.
Don’t stop. Don’t waver, don't worry about healing. Don’t charge him to expend MP.
Just slam that flat hammer down on him repeatedly and he won’t have time to do anything.
BACKGROUND:
He kept wiping the floor with my then-Level 20 character (he is level 22). I switched to my second avatar, a mere level 5, and decided to see how fast he’d lay her out to pasture because it’d be funny.
I equipped her with the Flame Shield since, by then, it was abundantly clear fire is his weakness, and did a warp strike to close the distance…
And promptly beat his ass. It staggers him so severely that he barely has time to retaliate, let alone heal himself as he does if you have to get distance from him to heal yourself.
This was tried by a friend, and she encountered the same results.
NOTE: The shield automatically reduces incoming damage. My biggest struggle was when Ignis would swing his blades at me, because that was a one-hit kill with my stronger avatar. However, with the much weaker one, that attack maybe did a third of my health bar in, and not even permanently damaging my health regen. I've started taking shields into quests, even when they're noted as being weak against anything I'll be fighting, because they give you a substantial advantage against higher enemies.
CONCLUSION:
Flame Shield and no capacity for empathy for the handicapped.
I can say that as a cripple myself, go away.
Saturday, November 25, 2017
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Mobile Gaming Review: Auralux (Android)
Auralux (from developer War Drum Studios) is a simple strategy game in how you play, how it looks, and how far it goes. There are plenty of these ‘cell domination strategy games’ out there, but Auralux remains one of the highest rated on Google Play (if not THE highest rated), sitting at a 4.5/5 star rating at the time of writing this article.
The goal of Auralux is that you are competing against AI players to dominate a full field of spaces and ultimately clear their influence off the map. The following are some screenshots from the easiest, post-tutorial level of the game to show you how it looks. You are always playing the blue sun. NOTE: Allegedly, all suns are based on images taken from NASA.
All the fields look similar to this, although you may compete with two OR three AIs a time. Every second, your sun(s) generates a movable piece that will be used both to defend and attack. You can swipe your finger over the screen to encompass a specific area of these pieces to send out, or you can simply click a sun to move all of them at once.
If your sun has a white halo, or two white halos, around it, that means you can upgrade it. You tap on the sun and then tap it again, and all pieces within the circle when you tap it are sucked into the sun. After the blue meter below the sun fills, it upgrades. The highest amount of times you can upgrade is twice (dependent on how many white halos it has), and with each upgrade, you generate one extra piece per second, up to three.
This is all important to know, because those little pieces are everything. When you attack, or are attacked, those pieces collide with your competitor and both sides lose pieces. If you have more than the attacker/attackee, you will come out ahead. If you don’t, you might fail the attack or you will lose your sun. In many of the levels, it’s recommended to upgrade and expand only slightly to start building up numbers, and the game will give you hints and suggestions to allow the AI to fight one another while you gain strength.
So now, we come down to the PROS and the CONS of the game.
PROS:
Auralux is an engrossing game with musical cues during your attacks. You can change the background music to different types: synthetic, acoustic, vocal, or percussion. I tend to prefer synthetic myself. It reminds me a little of the XBox Kinect game, ‘Child of Eden’. That’s probably just me, though.
Levels can last anywhere up to twenty or thirty minutes, although time sort of flies when you’re playing this game because you’re so engrossed, waiting for the perfect time to strike, while worrying about being struck. Needless to say, it’s a good travel game.
It also comes with different difficulty types: easy, medium, hard. Although there is one normally level called Triad that most reviewers to the game dev itself claim is the hardest, and I tend to agree. If you reset the match, or lose the match, you’ll be offered a hint to ‘ignore the center sun for now’. Most people agree this hint is nonsense.
All in all, think of this type of game as something of a new take on tower defense games.
This is a good game to play while traveling. I really, really like it… except for a few things.
CONS:
Because I am a broke individual, my game reviews come out strictly from the side of a free user. Some games provide you very little as a free user, and some provide a lot. To the credit of War Drum Studios, they don’t weigh Auralux down with ads, but they also only give free users EIGHT levels to play, and then you have to buy more if you’d like them. Fair enough, although it’s disappointing that once you master how to defeat all eight levels, you don’t have any further to go if you don’t have money to spend. This isn’t me demanding War Drum Studios give us anything, as they’re certainly not entitled to, but it’s still disappointing. Especially because I’ve gone through many other games much like this, and Auralux is still the best.
Now, during gameplay (this will tie into the above here soon), the particles/pieces used to attack and defend move… very… slowly… which contributes to the amount of time it takes to play one level.
You have the option to purchase what’s called a ‘Speed Mode’, which increases speed of those pieces movements, and consequently makes it much more difficult. That alone costs .99c USD. (All currency here will be USD.)
If you just want new levels and don’t care about speed, you can purchase one of eight different level packs, each containing five new levels, for .99c.
You can buy a special package for $2.99 that includes the speed mode, Orion, Vela and Lyra packs. So for $2.99, you’ll get fifteen new levels and they’ll be able to move faster.
Some people consider this expensive, although honestly, it seems reasonable in this day and age of microtransactions.
IN CONCLUSION:
So yes, my only complaints really boil down to me having nothing to offer but lint. The game has yet to ever crash on me, it keeps me entertained, and is even a good game to play while trying to get sleepy at night since the music and sound effects aren’t obtrusive at all. You don’t need the music if you don’t want it, but it’s pleasant to hear.
I highly recommend Auralux if you like simple game play, yet want a little bit of a challenge in figuring out how best to utilizes the few tools you’re given to win battles!
Monday, May 9, 2016
Mobile Gaming: Atomas
WARNING: Written while high as a kite on allergy meds.
Being in a condition that often leaves me rather immobile, I indulge in mobile gaming a lot more than I used to when I was working. Recently, I’ve been playing more puzzle-based games that help me cool down my brain. Some are good at this, some are not. This is a super short recommendation, but it’s a very simple game!
Atomas (made by developer Sirnic http://www.sirnic.com/) is one of those games. It’s a simple game, based on matching and merging.
By going through the elements, you tap on the outer circle where you’d like the center element to go. The goal is to not only put matching elements together, but to lay them out to chain a fusion. By receiving at random a red +, you can then merge them together and create a higher element. When you receive a blue -, then you tap an element already placed to either move it to another spot, or to tap it a second time in the center (where it moves to) in order to eliminate it.
If you get too many elements on the outer circle, the game ends, and the remaining elements are added to your final score. The goal is to unlock various cheats/perks (found by sliding right to left on the start screen) to help you play.
PROS:
You don’t have to worry about cumbersome ads, and I have yet to encounter a crash with this game. The music/sound effects aren’t overbearing, so if you’re wanting to play it while trying to get sleepy, you don’t need to worry about it disrupting you. Because none of the sounds are vital, you can also play easily without any sound at all.
CONS:
The only downside to this game is that there is a function called ‘antimatter’ found here:
Antimatter allows you to escape the game ending by allowing you to eliminate half the elements in the circle. You’re gifted one (or two, I don’t remember which) upon first playing the game. After that, you get antimatter only one of two ways:
- Paying for it
- Opening a cheat that gives you .001% chance of earning antimatter on any given turn in a game, up to only one per game.
NOTE: I have one remaining cheat to open, so if that one pertains to antimatter, I don’t know as they don’t reveal what the cheat is until you unlock it, and they don’t tell you what’s required to unlock it.
So that aside, the game is very relaxing, so long as you aren’t chasing achievements, or you have the patience for the cheat, or you have the money to spend. The cheats screen can be found sliding right to left from the main screen, under "Upgrades". You can have one cheat active at a time, but can change which cheat is active during gameplay by backing out into the main menu. Atomas saves your game when you do this.
There are three other modes of play: Time Attack, Geneva, and Zen, which I won’t be discussing. They’re unlocked by either paying $1.49 to do so, or by unlocking them through gameplay. Everything is unlocked based off of Classic Mode, which I’ve discussed here, but all modes function the same way. They only have different rules about losing (such as a limited amount of game time in Time Attack).
Overall:
Atomas is a fun, simple little game with minimal drawbacks for not contributing money to the app. You are subject to minimal advertising as a free user, and overall it’s a stable game that I personally have had no problems with.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Some of the Best Games in Mobile Gaming (in my opinion)
There’s a lot of stigma surrounding the world of mobile gaming. Are people who play these games ‘real gamers’? Are these games just places to blow your money for little payoff?
Well, yes and yes, if you’re not careful. And with Japanese game companies starting to turning towards mobile due to the practicality of it with their country being such a mobile culture these days, it’s something that may spread over this way. So getting used to it might be beneficial, just like getting used to handheld platforms might be as well.
So, I’ll start off by saying that I have been mobile gaming for the last couple of years for a number of personal reasons. Physical ability in my hands being one of them, which is why I’m sporadic with my online activities. As such, I’ve run through quite a few of them. And, while I may no longer be playing some of them, I still have positive things to say about them for sure.
These games are also ones that can be progressed through with relative ease without investing any money in them, aside from the very first. Likewise, they will provide very little opportunity for player conflict. Where it may be able to happen, I will specify! After a very poor experience dealing with Empire: Four Kingdoms, which is a massive mess of money requirements and bullying, this is important for me to make clear.
Also, I don’t believe in completely playing free if you can afford to pay a little towards something you play a lot. However, not everyone has extra money they can spend on a game, so finding a game that was developed with that understanding is always most welcome to see.
Plague Inc.
A game where you are any variety of infectious diseases, from a basic virus to an all-out bio-weapon, this game provides DOES make it possible to infect Madagascar, but that’s not something that makes it easy. Each infection type infects differently, and while ready hilarious headlines that are clear shout-outs to all the nerd types that might play this game—Whovians and MGS fans will likely get a particular kick out of it—you have to pay attention to what the world’s governments are up to and you get to choose whether you play it safe and keep yourself hidden until the time is right, or go all out right out the gate and hope to kill all of them before they figure out how to kill you.
PROS
This game is great for strategy lovers and anyone willing to kill 10+ minutes depending on the infection method and the strategy they use. There are eight infectious types, and each of them behave differently and are discovered in different ways, with each method coming with a total of three difficulties.
The music, while the same track with SFX over it, isn’t obnoxious and makes it feel like you’re sinister and puts you in the mood to kill billions of people.
For reasons I’ll discuss in the ‘CONS’ section, while the base game is free, you can get the full(ish) version for .99c. This is highly recommended because, as you go through the game, you unlock a variety of boosts to help you plan your attack, and in the free version of the game, you don’t… get to use them. Blech. But if you shell out that dollar for the full(ish) version, you will, making the game much more possible to beat. Reading forums, no one I saw has claimed to beat much anything past the first infection on Easy without paying.
CONS
While this is going to sound like a deal killer, I want to emphasize that the game is great fun. However, I don’t want anyone who might decide to check it out (in the free version first! Don’t pay until you know you’ll like it!) to feel misled.
There is a second section to this game where you can play various scenarios. At the time I downloaded it, I received the Christmas scenario, wherein you are charged with infecting the world with joy. However, beyond that, you need to pay additional for these scenarios. If you want them, you either pay a small (though at times more costly than the normal game itself) fee, or you can pay a whopping $11.99 for it. (NOTE: at the time of writing this, I noticed they are claiming to reduce it to $9.99, but still.)
Don’t be fooled! If you go for the .99c version, it will tell you it unlocks ‘everything’. It unlocks everything as far as the base game is concerned. Consider the scenarios part of a DLC [Downloadable Content].
Also, users have reported their content doesn’t transfer to new phones despite the game saying it’s possible. I still have my wonderful, highly damaged Galaxy S4 with its cracked screen and smooshed corners. I can’t confirm it, but I want to warn you!
PLAYER CONTACT
There is no player contact. This is a single player game.
OVERALL
Overall, the purchasing issue isn’t that big of a hindrance. Where many games on your phone will rig it in an attempt to get you to sink in indeterminable amounts of money into them, at least Plague Inc. is honest about where your money is going and what you’re getting for your dollars.
Summoners War
These screenshots of this one are pretty old and were taken when I was showing a friend because I personally uninstalled it after having spent a lot of time on it. It was more a personal thing, looking for other games, but it remains one of the most impressive games I’ve seen. Featuring actually 3D graphics and a ‘monster collecting’ theme, you play with up to five creatures, depending on the scenario you’re playing, to battle other monsters and gain rewards, more monsters, and experience points.
The devs of this game make sure to provide ample opportunity for players to advance through the game and earn their version of currency that you can spend to buy exclusive items to help with your advancement. You can also purchase mana stones (this game’s version of gold) and gems at various price points if you don’t want to farm, giving you an edge on your fellow players, but patience and farming will provide you the same advantageous.
PROS
The graphics belonging to Summoners War are rather stunning in the world of mobile games. 3D with special camerawork to highlight various combat moves, a wide range of creatures to collect and evolve, you definitely get enough to keep you busy visually. The music and SFX aren’t overly annoying, which definitely helps, although they’re non-vital so you can play this game on silent.
Gameplay is fluid, and provides you with an auto-combat function so, if you’re confident your monsters will win a level, you can let them run without really watching them. The more powerful you make them through evolution and through the application of runes that, when placed strategically, according to your monster’s strengths and weaknesses, and upgraded through the use of mana stones, the more confident you can feel about just letting them do their own things. The AI isn’t incredibly intelligent, and since the combat system is based on the balance of elements the monsters represent, they will target whichever enemy is weakest to them. This may result in them attacking different creatures when it’s not advantageous, but you can tap an foe and target them, causing the AI to attack it only. The healer monsters are programmed well to respond with healing when they’re needed and no sooner (usually), and the creatures with boosts or dampening abilities use them as soon as they’re available. Anything above basic attacks have set recharge times that decrease as you develop that monster further.
Many PVP, server-based mobile games have energy allotments to prevent players from playing too long, and have set recharge times and max energy levels. This is also a way to get players to sink more money into their game in order to be able to play longer. Summoners War is one of the few games that actually allows your max energy allotment to increase as you go through the levels, and upgrade even beyond that in order to be able to play a long time. Daily gifts also reward energy on occasion, between gems and mana stones also being part of the daily gift deal, more energy costs minimal gems, and so being able to play for long periods of time is not difficult for this game at all. And you will easily find yourself wanting to play for quite a while as you get further along.
CONS
To be honest, it’s a fair and well-rounded game. The only complaints I have would have to start with things like rune upgrading. While obtaining mana stones isn’t too hard—farming stages, daily log-in gifts, and automatic mana generators help—runes take so much money to upgrade, are so pivotal, and there are six of them per monster. The higher the level of the rune (1-6 stars), the more each level of upgrading costs. On top of that, there is a ‘chances of success’ deal. The higher you’re trying to upgrade to, the lower those chances decrease. You can easily spend 500,000 mana stones trying to upgrade to level 13 or 14, and the max level is 15.
The other gripe I have is that gameplay can become horribly unbalanced between stages. You have stages, and within those levels, and things are pretty balanced there. But without notice, when you move to the next stage, it can be tragically more difficult and require farming and other methods that can last a while for your monsters to be able to move on.
PLAYER CONTACT
There is a chatroom for people on a specific server, and, if you join a guild, a chat for that. But there are no PMs. You can friend other players and send ‘hearts’ every 24 hours that help go to summoning new monsters for various uses. You can also see their last logged-in time so, if they’ve stopped playing, you can defriend them and open one of your 50 max spaces for someone new.
There is also literal PVP battling, but beyond your opponent receiving a notification of win or loss, there is no way to contact one another privately and there is no guarantee they’re in the same chat as you. This limits a good number of issues these sorts of things can generate.
OVERALL
Summoners War is a well-rounded game and deserves its high ranking in the app markets.
Hellfire
Beautiful artwork and atypical graphics for a battle card collection game, Hellfire is a delightful game. Based around four elements—earth, water, fire, death—this game is about strategy as much as it is about collecting and evolving your creature cards. Whoever the devs of Hellfire use for their artwork, these people are absolutely incredible.
With daily log-in gifts and weekly events, while it might feel like leveling your cards is an uphill climb unless you decide to spend money on their ‘gold’ to purchase better cards, hang in there! Those weekly events open so many doors as you participate.
While you have to spend 15 energy a level in the basic game, you start with and maintain a max of 100 energy, and it replenishes hellaciously fast. I haven’t spent time counting how long, but after I clear a level of a few minutes, I usually have 1-3 of that energy back.
The actual gameplay can be a bit dizzying if you have motion sickness or like problems. The screen shakes during delivered and received attacks, and the camera moves with your ‘ball of elements’, but you can disable this all through the settings.
PROS
Daily gifts and weekly events provide you with all you need to advance in the game rapidly. It doesn’t feel like it when you’re between events or in a position you can’t participate in the events right away, but spending time on normal levels while waiting for the recharge also helps you gain more cards with which to power up your chosen combat cards.
Each time you level up, you can add more ‘allies’ aka fellow players. Taking allies, or allies taking you, into battle rewards both involved players gems, which contribute to getting more cards. You do not have to be present when someone selects you, your main card being the basis of your ‘element’ and how you ultimately auto-attack while in battle with them.
Back to the artwork, because I can’t get over at how beautiful it is, you can evolve each card a total of four times. Each step of evolution provides a varied picture of your card, and it’s actually a pretty big blast to watch how they change.
The game is fast as far as mobile games go, especially ones playing on a server. While there will always be lulls, they’re rare. This makes it possible to do things like drain your energy allotment quickly if you so desire, or rapidly upgrade so you can get back to weekly events.
CONS
The interface of this game is a damn mess. There is no separation between places where you can buy cards with real-money paid gold, or with in-game earnings, and in-game earnings are way at the bottom of the screen. The screen is hyper-sensitive at times, so having to scroll through that nonsense is a pain.
There’s no reason to really look at their off-app FAQ if their lack of explanations and guidance aren’t enough, because it’s not much better. Fortunately, you can fairly quickly learn for yourself what the game fails to explain.
PLAYER CONTACT
None. There is no player contact outside of the above system I explained. No chat room, no PM system, nothing. You don’t need to worry about it. There’s no person versus person battling either, only working together.
OVERALL
Hellfire is an experience you should delve into if only because of its incredible artwork and smooth operation. You might have a few peeves develop, but it’s a solid game and there’s no reason you should let those stand in your way.
I really love that damn artwork.
Iron Knights
While there is the slight evidence of a language barrier, the devs of Iron Knights made a wonderful game. A combat game with strategy involved in developing a team of four backing your character, and the ability to level and fuse your weapons, armor and backup creatures into newer and better ones, these all contribute to the stunning presentation of 3D graphics that make up this game.
While you’re initially assigned a male character regardless of your preference for gameplay, at level 10, you are able to switch to the female character. The outfits/armor for both vary widely and make a lot more sense than its peers, and overall it’s a pretty and stable game. See the pros and cons because if I go on here, there’ll be no point to those!
PROS
Whenever you max the level on a new ally for the first time, you get gems. When you do daily log-ins, you intermittently get gems. When you complete quests/goals, you get gems. When you complete the first level of each stage the specified amount of times, you get gems. If you want to pay money, you get gems. However, this game proves that you can offer gem/gold packages to help get the edge on other players for real world money without forcing the player to have to do that, so long as they’re willing to commit the time and energy.
With fifty friending spaces, you can send and receive ‘horns’. When you take a friend into combat (the friend being played by an AI), they receive ‘horns’ and you can do each of these things every 24 hours. Horns, and medals that you earn daily through goal achievement and participating in various arena fights, and gems ALL help you advance in this game, and you get plenty of all! Gold is the hardest thing to maintain, so you definitely need to farm, but with the right balance and leveling, getting gold within a few levels to do some things isn’t too hard!
I really enjoy the fact that there’s just so much to do. And, unlike many games of this type, many of the things you can do have a set number of tries and more cannot be purchased. You must wait until the next day, giving all players a very fair playing ground when it comes to that.
While you only start with 10 energy max, you can purchase an additional 10 max, and nothing that costs energy (basic levels, special monster and boss battles) cost more than 2 points, and it takes 9 minutes to re-accumulate one point. So you can waste an hour or so if you’d like just on energy costing parts of the game if you’re killing time, before relying on the many other things you can do (PVP, special ally coliseum fights, farming elemental crystals, fighting specialized bosses by yourself—if you play the game, this will make more sense!) while more energy charges!
Also, auto-play allows you to let the game run without having to focus too much on it if you need to multitask!
Yes, the graphics are a super plus!
CONS
Man, I’m hardpressed about this game. It gives so many advantages that it’s hard to complain.
I guess I should say something to be fair, though. When you go to by equipment or units/allies, you can spend either horns or gems. Now, you get the option to spend X amount on one, or XXX amount on 10 of whatever you’re purchasing. This is the only place that the game is pretty unfair, because the odds are balanced towards low level acquisitions, to try to get you to try your luck for more. To be fair though, they give odds for every ten purchased, one of those will be an upper-tier item/unit.
Where this becomes disadvantageous is when it comes to upgrading. Your character’s weapon and armor work on a percentage of success. If you upgrade a four star item with another four star, your chances of upgrade is 100%. That same 4* with a 3* is 50%. 2* is 13% and 1* is like 7%. While it will give a slight boost for the next chance you upgrade, it can be horrific if you have a 5* or 6*, because the odds are even worse the lower the item you’re using to upgrade it, and those 5 and 6 star ones are super rare, so having something to get 100% chances with is just as rare. It costs a lot of gold, so we go back to the farming needs.
The only other thing I can think of off the top of my head is it’s a fairly slowly loading game, and they have difficulties streamlining group events, such as multiple player attacks on Monster Bosses. In this event, a player discovers one at random and sends a request to his or her friends for help, and you have about 3-4 hours to help kill the boss. The system is unable to factor in simultaneous player damage since players are not in the same screen with one another when fighting this boss, so if someone delivers the finishing blow before you, it jeopardizes the reward you may get.
PLAYER CONTACT
Limited to a chat on the server, and a chat for your guild, there are no PMs. Guild leaders may use the guild screen to broadcast a short message that guild members will see when they’re accessing that screen or the guild raid screen, but otherwise, it’s minimal at best.
OVERALL
I really like this game. It’s fun, they make it clear how to play the game, and it’s small shortcomings don’t negate from the fact that this is a very, very fair game for anyone who wants to play! Money just helps you get a bit ahead, but if you play smart, you only have to spend that money to support the devs.
Well, yes and yes, if you’re not careful. And with Japanese game companies starting to turning towards mobile due to the practicality of it with their country being such a mobile culture these days, it’s something that may spread over this way. So getting used to it might be beneficial, just like getting used to handheld platforms might be as well.
So, I’ll start off by saying that I have been mobile gaming for the last couple of years for a number of personal reasons. Physical ability in my hands being one of them, which is why I’m sporadic with my online activities. As such, I’ve run through quite a few of them. And, while I may no longer be playing some of them, I still have positive things to say about them for sure.
These games are also ones that can be progressed through with relative ease without investing any money in them, aside from the very first. Likewise, they will provide very little opportunity for player conflict. Where it may be able to happen, I will specify! After a very poor experience dealing with Empire: Four Kingdoms, which is a massive mess of money requirements and bullying, this is important for me to make clear.
Also, I don’t believe in completely playing free if you can afford to pay a little towards something you play a lot. However, not everyone has extra money they can spend on a game, so finding a game that was developed with that understanding is always most welcome to see.
Plague Inc.
A game where you are any variety of infectious diseases, from a basic virus to an all-out bio-weapon, this game provides DOES make it possible to infect Madagascar, but that’s not something that makes it easy. Each infection type infects differently, and while ready hilarious headlines that are clear shout-outs to all the nerd types that might play this game—Whovians and MGS fans will likely get a particular kick out of it—you have to pay attention to what the world’s governments are up to and you get to choose whether you play it safe and keep yourself hidden until the time is right, or go all out right out the gate and hope to kill all of them before they figure out how to kill you.
PROS
This game is great for strategy lovers and anyone willing to kill 10+ minutes depending on the infection method and the strategy they use. There are eight infectious types, and each of them behave differently and are discovered in different ways, with each method coming with a total of three difficulties.
The music, while the same track with SFX over it, isn’t obnoxious and makes it feel like you’re sinister and puts you in the mood to kill billions of people.
For reasons I’ll discuss in the ‘CONS’ section, while the base game is free, you can get the full(ish) version for .99c. This is highly recommended because, as you go through the game, you unlock a variety of boosts to help you plan your attack, and in the free version of the game, you don’t… get to use them. Blech. But if you shell out that dollar for the full(ish) version, you will, making the game much more possible to beat. Reading forums, no one I saw has claimed to beat much anything past the first infection on Easy without paying.
CONS
While this is going to sound like a deal killer, I want to emphasize that the game is great fun. However, I don’t want anyone who might decide to check it out (in the free version first! Don’t pay until you know you’ll like it!) to feel misled.
There is a second section to this game where you can play various scenarios. At the time I downloaded it, I received the Christmas scenario, wherein you are charged with infecting the world with joy. However, beyond that, you need to pay additional for these scenarios. If you want them, you either pay a small (though at times more costly than the normal game itself) fee, or you can pay a whopping $11.99 for it. (NOTE: at the time of writing this, I noticed they are claiming to reduce it to $9.99, but still.)
Don’t be fooled! If you go for the .99c version, it will tell you it unlocks ‘everything’. It unlocks everything as far as the base game is concerned. Consider the scenarios part of a DLC [Downloadable Content].
Also, users have reported their content doesn’t transfer to new phones despite the game saying it’s possible. I still have my wonderful, highly damaged Galaxy S4 with its cracked screen and smooshed corners. I can’t confirm it, but I want to warn you!
PLAYER CONTACT
There is no player contact. This is a single player game.
OVERALL
Overall, the purchasing issue isn’t that big of a hindrance. Where many games on your phone will rig it in an attempt to get you to sink in indeterminable amounts of money into them, at least Plague Inc. is honest about where your money is going and what you’re getting for your dollars.
Summoners War
These screenshots of this one are pretty old and were taken when I was showing a friend because I personally uninstalled it after having spent a lot of time on it. It was more a personal thing, looking for other games, but it remains one of the most impressive games I’ve seen. Featuring actually 3D graphics and a ‘monster collecting’ theme, you play with up to five creatures, depending on the scenario you’re playing, to battle other monsters and gain rewards, more monsters, and experience points.
The devs of this game make sure to provide ample opportunity for players to advance through the game and earn their version of currency that you can spend to buy exclusive items to help with your advancement. You can also purchase mana stones (this game’s version of gold) and gems at various price points if you don’t want to farm, giving you an edge on your fellow players, but patience and farming will provide you the same advantageous.
PROS
The graphics belonging to Summoners War are rather stunning in the world of mobile games. 3D with special camerawork to highlight various combat moves, a wide range of creatures to collect and evolve, you definitely get enough to keep you busy visually. The music and SFX aren’t overly annoying, which definitely helps, although they’re non-vital so you can play this game on silent.
Gameplay is fluid, and provides you with an auto-combat function so, if you’re confident your monsters will win a level, you can let them run without really watching them. The more powerful you make them through evolution and through the application of runes that, when placed strategically, according to your monster’s strengths and weaknesses, and upgraded through the use of mana stones, the more confident you can feel about just letting them do their own things. The AI isn’t incredibly intelligent, and since the combat system is based on the balance of elements the monsters represent, they will target whichever enemy is weakest to them. This may result in them attacking different creatures when it’s not advantageous, but you can tap an foe and target them, causing the AI to attack it only. The healer monsters are programmed well to respond with healing when they’re needed and no sooner (usually), and the creatures with boosts or dampening abilities use them as soon as they’re available. Anything above basic attacks have set recharge times that decrease as you develop that monster further.
Many PVP, server-based mobile games have energy allotments to prevent players from playing too long, and have set recharge times and max energy levels. This is also a way to get players to sink more money into their game in order to be able to play longer. Summoners War is one of the few games that actually allows your max energy allotment to increase as you go through the levels, and upgrade even beyond that in order to be able to play a long time. Daily gifts also reward energy on occasion, between gems and mana stones also being part of the daily gift deal, more energy costs minimal gems, and so being able to play for long periods of time is not difficult for this game at all. And you will easily find yourself wanting to play for quite a while as you get further along.
CONS
To be honest, it’s a fair and well-rounded game. The only complaints I have would have to start with things like rune upgrading. While obtaining mana stones isn’t too hard—farming stages, daily log-in gifts, and automatic mana generators help—runes take so much money to upgrade, are so pivotal, and there are six of them per monster. The higher the level of the rune (1-6 stars), the more each level of upgrading costs. On top of that, there is a ‘chances of success’ deal. The higher you’re trying to upgrade to, the lower those chances decrease. You can easily spend 500,000 mana stones trying to upgrade to level 13 or 14, and the max level is 15.
The other gripe I have is that gameplay can become horribly unbalanced between stages. You have stages, and within those levels, and things are pretty balanced there. But without notice, when you move to the next stage, it can be tragically more difficult and require farming and other methods that can last a while for your monsters to be able to move on.
PLAYER CONTACT
There is a chatroom for people on a specific server, and, if you join a guild, a chat for that. But there are no PMs. You can friend other players and send ‘hearts’ every 24 hours that help go to summoning new monsters for various uses. You can also see their last logged-in time so, if they’ve stopped playing, you can defriend them and open one of your 50 max spaces for someone new.
There is also literal PVP battling, but beyond your opponent receiving a notification of win or loss, there is no way to contact one another privately and there is no guarantee they’re in the same chat as you. This limits a good number of issues these sorts of things can generate.
OVERALL
Summoners War is a well-rounded game and deserves its high ranking in the app markets.
Hellfire
Beautiful artwork and atypical graphics for a battle card collection game, Hellfire is a delightful game. Based around four elements—earth, water, fire, death—this game is about strategy as much as it is about collecting and evolving your creature cards. Whoever the devs of Hellfire use for their artwork, these people are absolutely incredible.
With daily log-in gifts and weekly events, while it might feel like leveling your cards is an uphill climb unless you decide to spend money on their ‘gold’ to purchase better cards, hang in there! Those weekly events open so many doors as you participate.
While you have to spend 15 energy a level in the basic game, you start with and maintain a max of 100 energy, and it replenishes hellaciously fast. I haven’t spent time counting how long, but after I clear a level of a few minutes, I usually have 1-3 of that energy back.
The actual gameplay can be a bit dizzying if you have motion sickness or like problems. The screen shakes during delivered and received attacks, and the camera moves with your ‘ball of elements’, but you can disable this all through the settings.
PROS
Daily gifts and weekly events provide you with all you need to advance in the game rapidly. It doesn’t feel like it when you’re between events or in a position you can’t participate in the events right away, but spending time on normal levels while waiting for the recharge also helps you gain more cards with which to power up your chosen combat cards.
Each time you level up, you can add more ‘allies’ aka fellow players. Taking allies, or allies taking you, into battle rewards both involved players gems, which contribute to getting more cards. You do not have to be present when someone selects you, your main card being the basis of your ‘element’ and how you ultimately auto-attack while in battle with them.
Back to the artwork, because I can’t get over at how beautiful it is, you can evolve each card a total of four times. Each step of evolution provides a varied picture of your card, and it’s actually a pretty big blast to watch how they change.
The game is fast as far as mobile games go, especially ones playing on a server. While there will always be lulls, they’re rare. This makes it possible to do things like drain your energy allotment quickly if you so desire, or rapidly upgrade so you can get back to weekly events.
CONS
The interface of this game is a damn mess. There is no separation between places where you can buy cards with real-money paid gold, or with in-game earnings, and in-game earnings are way at the bottom of the screen. The screen is hyper-sensitive at times, so having to scroll through that nonsense is a pain.
There’s no reason to really look at their off-app FAQ if their lack of explanations and guidance aren’t enough, because it’s not much better. Fortunately, you can fairly quickly learn for yourself what the game fails to explain.
PLAYER CONTACT
None. There is no player contact outside of the above system I explained. No chat room, no PM system, nothing. You don’t need to worry about it. There’s no person versus person battling either, only working together.
OVERALL
Hellfire is an experience you should delve into if only because of its incredible artwork and smooth operation. You might have a few peeves develop, but it’s a solid game and there’s no reason you should let those stand in your way.
I really love that damn artwork.
Iron Knights
While there is the slight evidence of a language barrier, the devs of Iron Knights made a wonderful game. A combat game with strategy involved in developing a team of four backing your character, and the ability to level and fuse your weapons, armor and backup creatures into newer and better ones, these all contribute to the stunning presentation of 3D graphics that make up this game.
While you’re initially assigned a male character regardless of your preference for gameplay, at level 10, you are able to switch to the female character. The outfits/armor for both vary widely and make a lot more sense than its peers, and overall it’s a pretty and stable game. See the pros and cons because if I go on here, there’ll be no point to those!
PROS
Whenever you max the level on a new ally for the first time, you get gems. When you do daily log-ins, you intermittently get gems. When you complete quests/goals, you get gems. When you complete the first level of each stage the specified amount of times, you get gems. If you want to pay money, you get gems. However, this game proves that you can offer gem/gold packages to help get the edge on other players for real world money without forcing the player to have to do that, so long as they’re willing to commit the time and energy.
With fifty friending spaces, you can send and receive ‘horns’. When you take a friend into combat (the friend being played by an AI), they receive ‘horns’ and you can do each of these things every 24 hours. Horns, and medals that you earn daily through goal achievement and participating in various arena fights, and gems ALL help you advance in this game, and you get plenty of all! Gold is the hardest thing to maintain, so you definitely need to farm, but with the right balance and leveling, getting gold within a few levels to do some things isn’t too hard!
I really enjoy the fact that there’s just so much to do. And, unlike many games of this type, many of the things you can do have a set number of tries and more cannot be purchased. You must wait until the next day, giving all players a very fair playing ground when it comes to that.
While you only start with 10 energy max, you can purchase an additional 10 max, and nothing that costs energy (basic levels, special monster and boss battles) cost more than 2 points, and it takes 9 minutes to re-accumulate one point. So you can waste an hour or so if you’d like just on energy costing parts of the game if you’re killing time, before relying on the many other things you can do (PVP, special ally coliseum fights, farming elemental crystals, fighting specialized bosses by yourself—if you play the game, this will make more sense!) while more energy charges!
Also, auto-play allows you to let the game run without having to focus too much on it if you need to multitask!
CONS
Man, I’m hardpressed about this game. It gives so many advantages that it’s hard to complain.
I guess I should say something to be fair, though. When you go to by equipment or units/allies, you can spend either horns or gems. Now, you get the option to spend X amount on one, or XXX amount on 10 of whatever you’re purchasing. This is the only place that the game is pretty unfair, because the odds are balanced towards low level acquisitions, to try to get you to try your luck for more. To be fair though, they give odds for every ten purchased, one of those will be an upper-tier item/unit.
Where this becomes disadvantageous is when it comes to upgrading. Your character’s weapon and armor work on a percentage of success. If you upgrade a four star item with another four star, your chances of upgrade is 100%. That same 4* with a 3* is 50%. 2* is 13% and 1* is like 7%. While it will give a slight boost for the next chance you upgrade, it can be horrific if you have a 5* or 6*, because the odds are even worse the lower the item you’re using to upgrade it, and those 5 and 6 star ones are super rare, so having something to get 100% chances with is just as rare. It costs a lot of gold, so we go back to the farming needs.
The only other thing I can think of off the top of my head is it’s a fairly slowly loading game, and they have difficulties streamlining group events, such as multiple player attacks on Monster Bosses. In this event, a player discovers one at random and sends a request to his or her friends for help, and you have about 3-4 hours to help kill the boss. The system is unable to factor in simultaneous player damage since players are not in the same screen with one another when fighting this boss, so if someone delivers the finishing blow before you, it jeopardizes the reward you may get.
PLAYER CONTACT
Limited to a chat on the server, and a chat for your guild, there are no PMs. Guild leaders may use the guild screen to broadcast a short message that guild members will see when they’re accessing that screen or the guild raid screen, but otherwise, it’s minimal at best.
OVERALL
I really like this game. It’s fun, they make it clear how to play the game, and it’s small shortcomings don’t negate from the fact that this is a very, very fair game for anyone who wants to play! Money just helps you get a bit ahead, but if you play smart, you only have to spend that money to support the devs.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Ezio vs Connor: Why Didn't Connor Resonate With Us?
While I realize there are some huge Connor fans out there, this article is addressing the larger numbers that didn't seem to take to Connor from Assassin's Creed 3. I, personally, like Connor. Not as much as Ezio Auditore, but I did like him. Or maybe I liked his potential. I want to say that, clearly, Connor was unpopular since Ubisoft promised another Connor game if he was well received. However, I dispute the reveal of Edward Kenway as being a result of fan opinion. They had to be working on Edward long before fan feedback on Connor to launch Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag a year later, simple as that. Either they were thinking Connor wouldn't be popular, or they had no intention of bringing him back until further on down the line.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Music is everything sometimes. (I've had three hours of sleep.)
So, a friend recently convinced me to play the Mass Effect series.
I won't be discussing that in length right now, but I will say it has me reflecting once again on the importance of proper background music in various forms of media.
I'm a huge fan of background music that's correct for the scene you're witnessing. It can make or break a scene. If you have the wrong kind of music for a given scene, it really doesn't matter how the scene is performed. We're auditory as much as visual when it comes to our absorbing of information, and there's nothing worse than being thrown out of something because the mood was set wrong.
I think it offends people when they show me something they're very fond of and I say, "The music made that scene." I can see why, but I honestly mean it as a compliment! It gets very hard for me, individually, to watch scenes with mismatched background music. You don't set a comedic scene with a piano solo, and you don't set a melancholy or sad scene with anything that has a quick tempo. Well, I mean, you CAN, but it can honestly throw the scene.
Part of the reason I think music is so quick to throw me out of something, or pull me in quicker to a scene, is because I don't necessarily hear lyrics unless I try. This has admittedly gotten me in trouble in the past when people have tried to communicate feelings to me through music, and it's something I've gotten better with over time, but if you look at most the music I listen to frequently, there are no lyrics. Music helps me write, and I'd rather listen to the tune and what it's saying than words.
So, where does Mass Effect come in to this whole rambling nonsense of a post? Mass Effect 2, the music you hear during the final battle got me thinking about how wonderful video games tend to be these days with their music. Assassin's Creed really set the bar for me as a series, much of the music from series through Revelations being this perfect blend to the surroundings, sometimes being downright haunting. As I type this, I have the Jesper Kyd track 'Desmond Miles' playing, from AC: Brotherhood. This is the track that plays when you play as Desmond, frolicking around Monteriggioni.
I can't believe I actually spelled that right on the first try. Normally I butcher it. Go me.
But the final battle music for Mass Effect 2 had me revisiting the effectiveness of background music. Mass Effect 3 only perfected this in the series, and I can really appreciate it. I particularly love the piano tracks that you find through ME3. It's a such a sad theme (to me) and effectively used. This reoccurs throughout the game, but you can hear the first one just in the beginning of the game when Shepard is witnessing an event that seems to haunt him/her throughout the entire game. (See me not speak spoilers. Go me go. You know that's hard for me to do if you know me.)
Said friend showed me a video of a cutscene in the DLC "The Citadel" in the last couple of days. This is another prime example of how music makes a scene. I'll assume you know there's spoilers ahead:
Perfect music for the situation.
I'm all for music being picked to fit a scene deliberately horribly too. This seems like a weird statement, but I'll use Saints Row 4 as a good example. Nothing is serious in that game. It's a case of the devs lost their minds and are absolutely, 100% lacking apology for it. But they had a real composer step in and do some really amazing music (I'm not talking about the radio stations, the actual orchestra-backed tracks) that you wouldn't really associate with a game like that. And it fits! Despite the absolute madness going on, they managed to fit what would normally be completely unfit for that type of game.
Anyway, if you're someone who likes to write, or just have music that you can write movies to in your head, I do have some artists you ought to check out for music that is often found in movies, shows, trailers, even games from time to time.
Jesper Kyd (who has one independent album that I'm aware of)
The Immediate (also known as Immediate Music)
E.S. Posthumus
Two Steps From Hell
Epic Score
Max Richter
Brand X Music
Ludovico Einaudi
Outside of Max Richter and Ludovico Einaudi, these artists are in the 'epic' genre. Literally. These tracks are the sorts of pieces you hear most often in trailers, but also battle scenes and victory scenes, though they have very romantic tracks and whatnot. Two Steps From Hell has a particularly large amount of music, as they have released albums that specifically designate what kind of scenes they had in mind for the tracks within (comedy, youth, romantic, combinations thereof).
Ludovico Einaudi and Max Richter are classical composers whose music can often be found during tragic, romance-tragic, etc type scenes. Their music is quiet, sometimes haunting, and often features piano and strings.
Just remember, if someone sees a scene and all they do is comment on the music... unless they are clearly saying it with the tone of an asshole, they probably enjoyed the entire thing, but they're complimenting the thing that stood out the most to them and made it feel cohesive for them.
I won't be discussing that in length right now, but I will say it has me reflecting once again on the importance of proper background music in various forms of media.
I'm a huge fan of background music that's correct for the scene you're witnessing. It can make or break a scene. If you have the wrong kind of music for a given scene, it really doesn't matter how the scene is performed. We're auditory as much as visual when it comes to our absorbing of information, and there's nothing worse than being thrown out of something because the mood was set wrong.
I think it offends people when they show me something they're very fond of and I say, "The music made that scene." I can see why, but I honestly mean it as a compliment! It gets very hard for me, individually, to watch scenes with mismatched background music. You don't set a comedic scene with a piano solo, and you don't set a melancholy or sad scene with anything that has a quick tempo. Well, I mean, you CAN, but it can honestly throw the scene.
Part of the reason I think music is so quick to throw me out of something, or pull me in quicker to a scene, is because I don't necessarily hear lyrics unless I try. This has admittedly gotten me in trouble in the past when people have tried to communicate feelings to me through music, and it's something I've gotten better with over time, but if you look at most the music I listen to frequently, there are no lyrics. Music helps me write, and I'd rather listen to the tune and what it's saying than words.
So, where does Mass Effect come in to this whole rambling nonsense of a post? Mass Effect 2, the music you hear during the final battle got me thinking about how wonderful video games tend to be these days with their music. Assassin's Creed really set the bar for me as a series, much of the music from series through Revelations being this perfect blend to the surroundings, sometimes being downright haunting. As I type this, I have the Jesper Kyd track 'Desmond Miles' playing, from AC: Brotherhood. This is the track that plays when you play as Desmond, frolicking around Monteriggioni.
I can't believe I actually spelled that right on the first try. Normally I butcher it. Go me.
But the final battle music for Mass Effect 2 had me revisiting the effectiveness of background music. Mass Effect 3 only perfected this in the series, and I can really appreciate it. I particularly love the piano tracks that you find through ME3. It's a such a sad theme (to me) and effectively used. This reoccurs throughout the game, but you can hear the first one just in the beginning of the game when Shepard is witnessing an event that seems to haunt him/her throughout the entire game. (See me not speak spoilers. Go me go. You know that's hard for me to do if you know me.)
Said friend showed me a video of a cutscene in the DLC "The Citadel" in the last couple of days. This is another prime example of how music makes a scene. I'll assume you know there's spoilers ahead:
Perfect music for the situation.
I'm all for music being picked to fit a scene deliberately horribly too. This seems like a weird statement, but I'll use Saints Row 4 as a good example. Nothing is serious in that game. It's a case of the devs lost their minds and are absolutely, 100% lacking apology for it. But they had a real composer step in and do some really amazing music (I'm not talking about the radio stations, the actual orchestra-backed tracks) that you wouldn't really associate with a game like that. And it fits! Despite the absolute madness going on, they managed to fit what would normally be completely unfit for that type of game.
Anyway, if you're someone who likes to write, or just have music that you can write movies to in your head, I do have some artists you ought to check out for music that is often found in movies, shows, trailers, even games from time to time.
Jesper Kyd (who has one independent album that I'm aware of)
The Immediate (also known as Immediate Music)
E.S. Posthumus
Two Steps From Hell
Epic Score
Max Richter
Brand X Music
Ludovico Einaudi
Outside of Max Richter and Ludovico Einaudi, these artists are in the 'epic' genre. Literally. These tracks are the sorts of pieces you hear most often in trailers, but also battle scenes and victory scenes, though they have very romantic tracks and whatnot. Two Steps From Hell has a particularly large amount of music, as they have released albums that specifically designate what kind of scenes they had in mind for the tracks within (comedy, youth, romantic, combinations thereof).
Ludovico Einaudi and Max Richter are classical composers whose music can often be found during tragic, romance-tragic, etc type scenes. Their music is quiet, sometimes haunting, and often features piano and strings.
Just remember, if someone sees a scene and all they do is comment on the music... unless they are clearly saying it with the tone of an asshole, they probably enjoyed the entire thing, but they're complimenting the thing that stood out the most to them and made it feel cohesive for them.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
A Brief and Dazed Evaluation of Assassin’s Creed 3
The following is being written at 5:30am on a Saturday
while in the delirium of personal issues.
THIS IS GONNA BE FUN. I’m being fairly
spoiler free, but I might make an mistake.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Devil May Cry - DmC
I have some problems with the upcoming DmC game.
Let me preface this with a possibly bizarre standpoint: I think I could like this game if it was not part of the Devil May Cry franchise.
Devil May Cry has been a big part of my life for many, many years. I've cosplayed DMC3's Vergil, I've got a cosplay tucked away for Gilver (which was vastly less expensive than DMC3 Vergil). I have roleplayed in story writing format for these characters, and I have written my share of fanfiction. The games provided me so much entertainment that I purchased all games, soundtracks, and when DMC3:SE came out, I bought it to partner with my original copy just because I would be able to play Vergil, despite the fact that all it was was his skin and battle moves laid on Dante's frame.
I even have a soft spot for DMC2. It's sort of the bastard child of the four games, but I appreciate the insinuated development for him there. He's been at that schtick a long, long time. I realize DMC4 was a slight retcon of that personality due to the sheer outrage, but I still personally accept DMC2 to be Dante's future after the fourth game. He's older, he's tired, so he just gets what he needs to done with very little to say about it. Maybe he's outlived his mortal friends, maybe something happened and Trish is no longer with him. I fathom Dante's later years became very lonely.
So, what about the upcoming DmC?
Let me preface this with a possibly bizarre standpoint: I think I could like this game if it was not part of the Devil May Cry franchise.
Devil May Cry has been a big part of my life for many, many years. I've cosplayed DMC3's Vergil, I've got a cosplay tucked away for Gilver (which was vastly less expensive than DMC3 Vergil). I have roleplayed in story writing format for these characters, and I have written my share of fanfiction. The games provided me so much entertainment that I purchased all games, soundtracks, and when DMC3:SE came out, I bought it to partner with my original copy just because I would be able to play Vergil, despite the fact that all it was was his skin and battle moves laid on Dante's frame.
I even have a soft spot for DMC2. It's sort of the bastard child of the four games, but I appreciate the insinuated development for him there. He's been at that schtick a long, long time. I realize DMC4 was a slight retcon of that personality due to the sheer outrage, but I still personally accept DMC2 to be Dante's future after the fourth game. He's older, he's tired, so he just gets what he needs to done with very little to say about it. Maybe he's outlived his mortal friends, maybe something happened and Trish is no longer with him. I fathom Dante's later years became very lonely.
So, what about the upcoming DmC?
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Names, Names~ Rambletimes.
When I was in high school, I took a Creative Writing
class. My philosophy teacher said it
would benefit me, having been a great supporter of anything his students took
an interest in, so I did so. While I
believe that these courses likely do some good for people, I never enjoyed
it. Well, that’s a lie. I enjoyed listening to the stories others
created, but after being marked down for my stories being ‘too dark’ (the
content not being unlike supernatural shows found on NBC and WB these days), I
just took a passive stance and reveled in the gender inequality that allowed
the male students to write firsthand accounts of someone ready to commit
suicide.
Funnily enough, though, that’s not what I’m writing about
today. When I was in that class, before
my discouragement set in heavily, I used some of my near and dear characters of
the time for one of the assignments. Now,
I still have these characters, though their personalities and stories have
changed dramatically. That’s why this
still bothers me for the silliest of reasons.
Monday, September 3, 2012
On the Subject of ‘Muses’ From a Writer’s Perspective.
Whenever I see people discussing a writer’s claim to have
a connection to ‘muses’ as either being ‘insane’, or being suspect of some
paranormal influence, I always want to have a sit down with them to explain
what having ‘muses’ mean as a writer.
This isn’t to say that there aren’t people out there who have some
difficulty discerning voices in their minds, or that there aren’t people who
may have some otherworldly connections (after all, many very famous and
successful actors claim this very thing), but the average writer who mentions
muses isn’t speaking from either of these directions.
Friday, August 31, 2012
First Impressions: Alice: Madness Returns
Well, I've been playing this game for a while over on youtube. Well, when I say 'for a while', I mean I've had to stretch out a couple hours worth of gameplay over the course of a couple of weeks because of some physical issues I'm having.
There are spoilers ahead, but only for the first part of the game.
There are spoilers ahead, but only for the first part of the game.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
The Woman (2011)
I don't know how I got there or why I sat through the whole thing, but regardless, I just finished The Woman, directed by Lucky McKee.
IMDB.com summarizes it as:
The acting of some actors left much to be desired, as did the character building. When the beginning started to roll, I thought I stepped into some sort of freaky, artsy bullshit like Antichrist.
Positives, however. There were some seriously creepy moments, and it was definitely gut-wrenchingly horrific in other parts. I think the 'family secret' that's revealed at the end was rather clever. Maybe I didn't pick up on the hints, but when the main character's wife told him that just what he had going on out with the dogs was enough to land him in prison, I was thinking animal abuse.
My brain can be quite literal.
I liked the actress who played The Woman. That probably seems funny, since she didn't have a whole ton to do until the end, but I have a great respect for women who manage to put themselves into roles like that. that sort of feral role, that fringes on looking possessed. You know. Of course, my friends and family know I'm a fan of Jennifer Carpenter in The Exorcism of Emily Rose. As historically inaccurate as that movie was, that girl was amazing.
Overall, I... didn't completely like the movie, but I didn't hate it! The camerawork was actually very good, and the makeup was good. I liked the family's interactions with each other. I suppose, besides the music gripe, I would have liked to see that hour and almost forty-four minutes used to build the family more.
And I guess I just am mostly baffled about seeing what I saw. I'd love to see Rifftrax do a thing on it, if they haven't already. I should go check it out.
IMDB.com summarizes it as:
When a successful country lawyer captures and attempts to "civilize" the last remaining member of a violent clan that has roamed the Northeast coast for decades, he puts the lives of his family in jeopardy.So, watching this movie, I have to wonder if McKee wasn't looking to give some sort of homage to Quintin Tarantino or something. A lot of scenes that should have had the dramatic scales we're used to in this sort of movie were replaced with a sort of old rock theme. (I'm not much into music that isn't the classical scales for movies, so bear with me on that.) However, the style that the movie was filmed in was not conducive to the music. I'm not a professional, but as a viewer, had the filming been sharper and not focused on that same look that more typical movies have (slightly grainy, supposed to look more realistic as opposed to sharp and bold colors), I think the music would have meshed better for me.
The acting of some actors left much to be desired, as did the character building. When the beginning started to roll, I thought I stepped into some sort of freaky, artsy bullshit like Antichrist.
Positives, however. There were some seriously creepy moments, and it was definitely gut-wrenchingly horrific in other parts. I think the 'family secret' that's revealed at the end was rather clever. Maybe I didn't pick up on the hints, but when the main character's wife told him that just what he had going on out with the dogs was enough to land him in prison, I was thinking animal abuse.
My brain can be quite literal.
I liked the actress who played The Woman. That probably seems funny, since she didn't have a whole ton to do until the end, but I have a great respect for women who manage to put themselves into roles like that. that sort of feral role, that fringes on looking possessed. You know. Of course, my friends and family know I'm a fan of Jennifer Carpenter in The Exorcism of Emily Rose. As historically inaccurate as that movie was, that girl was amazing.
Overall, I... didn't completely like the movie, but I didn't hate it! The camerawork was actually very good, and the makeup was good. I liked the family's interactions with each other. I suppose, besides the music gripe, I would have liked to see that hour and almost forty-four minutes used to build the family more.
And I guess I just am mostly baffled about seeing what I saw. I'd love to see Rifftrax do a thing on it, if they haven't already. I should go check it out.
Jesper Kyd versus Lorne Balfe
Jesper Kyd has been the long-running composer to the Assassin’s Creed OSTs. On Assassin’s Creed: Revelations, this task was shared with composer Lorne Balfe. Balfe will be taking on the duties solo-style for reasons I am not privy to, nor does that matter. People have been apparently concerned that this will significantly affect the experience in Assassin’s Creed.
But I need to emphasize that the duty was shared for AC:R. Nearly half the OST was done by Balfe. So, for those of you who are concerned that the feelings and sensations brought by Kyd’s contributions are long gone, and AC3 is going to be awful in that respect, I want to emphasize no it won’t. If you’ve played AC:R, you already know!
I think it’s because the initially released OST only included Kyd’s tracks. However, if you go here to Amazon.com, you can see the AC:R OST in its complete format.
Frankly, when having the chance to listen to the entire thing, I’m more impressed with Balfe’s largely orchestral and haunting vocal tracks than Kyd’s more ethnic pieces.
Guys, the main theme of AC:R was Lorne, not Kyd.
Assassin’s Creed is a powerful experience of emotion and action, of victory and defeat, and Kyd brought that every time… except I wonder if he just ran out of steam by AC:R. I love Jesper Kyd. I have his album, Ultimatum, even. For those of you freaking out about Kyd leaving and Balfe taking the job solo, relax.
Balfe did the trailer music for Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood. He has stood in partnership many times with Hans Zimmer. He’s worked on projects such as The Dark Knight Rises and The Dark Knight, Sherlock Holmes (both movies), and even Iron Man. This is a guy who knows his stuff.
Listen to this video courtesy of a user over on youtube. Balfe!
Ubisoft, I don’t think you understand how bad I am at video games.
As I type this as a personal affront, and not just a natural
progression in the Assassin’s Creed series that is actually a callback
to the first game which I completed anyway. (hurblearblarbpoopoopoo)
So, Assassin’s Creed 3 looks amazing. Pee-your-pants amazing. I’m an avid fan of this series, and have it and the Vita bundle on pre-order. Even despite finding out that there is no way to heal yourself during battle, I will get the game and I will play it. I will play it hard.
But really? Where are all my drunk assassin jokes going to go now? I can’t be the only one thinking that Ezio in AC:Revelations saying, “This will dull the pain.” means the medicine is liquor. Or when the doctor in Rome in AC:Brotherhood told Ezio he was old and so all he could do was help with the pain, that he was basically doing the Italian version of, “Here, drink vodka, vodka will make pain better, comrade!”
I’m just really bad at video games. Well, mostly because my most defining exposure to video games of recent years has been the Devil May Cry series, which… explains why I drive assassins and zombie killers like tanks. I can never nail stealth missions, and I almost always fail at free running. Who else spent the last part of Brotherhood not realizing it was the last part, and half their armor was damaged and things wouldn’t stop? I know that was me, at least.
So, I’m intimidated by the lack of in-battle healing abilities. I hope that it works sort of like in the first game where there was no medicine, but if you danced around long enough without being hit, you could retrieve health.
…of course, many missions are times, so maybe not. “Full Synchronization Failed” is burned into my eyeballs, I see it so much. (I’m getting better, but mostly on third and fourth replays.)
Either way, I still love you, Ubisoft. Other than this flaw, things look perfect.
So, Assassin’s Creed 3 looks amazing. Pee-your-pants amazing. I’m an avid fan of this series, and have it and the Vita bundle on pre-order. Even despite finding out that there is no way to heal yourself during battle, I will get the game and I will play it. I will play it hard.
But really? Where are all my drunk assassin jokes going to go now? I can’t be the only one thinking that Ezio in AC:Revelations saying, “This will dull the pain.” means the medicine is liquor. Or when the doctor in Rome in AC:Brotherhood told Ezio he was old and so all he could do was help with the pain, that he was basically doing the Italian version of, “Here, drink vodka, vodka will make pain better, comrade!”
I’m just really bad at video games. Well, mostly because my most defining exposure to video games of recent years has been the Devil May Cry series, which… explains why I drive assassins and zombie killers like tanks. I can never nail stealth missions, and I almost always fail at free running. Who else spent the last part of Brotherhood not realizing it was the last part, and half their armor was damaged and things wouldn’t stop? I know that was me, at least.
So, I’m intimidated by the lack of in-battle healing abilities. I hope that it works sort of like in the first game where there was no medicine, but if you danced around long enough without being hit, you could retrieve health.
…of course, many missions are times, so maybe not. “Full Synchronization Failed” is burned into my eyeballs, I see it so much. (I’m getting better, but mostly on third and fourth replays.)
Either way, I still love you, Ubisoft. Other than this flaw, things look perfect.
Resident Evil 5: Way late on the opinions train...
...but, in light of Resident Evil 6 coming out on 10.02.2012,
I decided to finally sit down and actually play Resident Evil 5. I had
this lingering self-disappointment going because I’ve played virtually
all the other games all the way through, save RE0, so I needed to play
it before then. Killing time needed, I plopped it in and took it
serious.
So, I should point out that I am terrible with manual aim. Like, I am hopeless when it comes to that, so I tend to ammo stock because I go in with a flurry of explosions and bullets. In the older games, auto-aim was my tell that something I heard in the shadows was indeed not my imagination. I remember distinctly going through a hall that was painfully dark in REmake, and hearing the sound you never want to hear: a Crimsonhead. Auto-aim and screaming got me through that.
But I managed to get through RE4 and I will make it through RE5.
My biggest props goes to Sheva’s AI programming. I enjoyed Ashley from RE4 because she actually sometimes did things. Suddenly, we have Sheva, who will intelligently fight and heal you—as long as you know when to appropriately work with Cover/Attack. Now, keep in mind I’ve not touched the alternate control settings, but it’s so annoying that I have to waste so much time to make her attack, but it’s so easy to make her cover. Other than that, Sheva is brilliant in my opinion.
I miss the attache case, though. I really preferred the puzzle system to fit as much as possible to it compared to having nine slots per character—two of which get eaten up with additional armor you can buy. Really, the toughest part of the game to me is trying to stand there, passing items back and forth with Sheva while we’re about to get our faces ripped off by not-zombies.
I do like that you can go for upgrades whenever you hit a new level or you die, I like that you don’t need to worry about comboing treasure to make it more expensive, and I like that you can replay levels so easily. It’s very Devil May Cry (and I’m sure other games too, but if you friend me on XBL, you can see how many games I’ve played). Better yet is the ability to go replay a mission, and then just keep going. No getting kicked out to the main pick screen after you’re done like in Assassin’s Creed (my favorite series evar).
If you’re looking for that eerie environment and unsettling images, but you’re a longtime adventurer into survival horror, outside of the first sequence, you might find yourself a little disappointed. There was only one place where I found myself going, “Oh. Well, This isn’t good.” And that’s when a classic Resident Evil monster is about to come out to play (look at me being good with no spoilers).
Now, I’m not saying it’s not Resident Evil because of this. It’s just not the haunting and gut-wrenching anticipation creating Resident Evil like it used to be. They gave us daylight, and with it, it’s about surprises and stress.
Frankly, I’m thankful the video game series hasn’t fallen victim to the issue the Silent Hill franchise has, meaning falling victim to the movies. I would never buy a game again if they had. Anything that has happened similar to the movies (judging by what’s happening in RE6’s trailers) has been through a storyline progression and not just ‘so, here’s a super chick and let’s let the world all be zombies’.
Because most of the mechanics issues that I have are 95% my fault, I give RE5 a round of applause and recommend it to anyone who likes shooters, stress-inducing games, and light horror elements.
The above was written around mid-July 2012
--------------
UPDATE: I have since finished RE5. I REMAIN FIRM IN MY JUDGEMENTS THAT IT'S MOSTLY BECAUSE I'M A FAILGET AND IT'S A GOOD GAME. Story-wise, I would have liked more.
But.
It's Resident Evil. We take what we can get.
So, I should point out that I am terrible with manual aim. Like, I am hopeless when it comes to that, so I tend to ammo stock because I go in with a flurry of explosions and bullets. In the older games, auto-aim was my tell that something I heard in the shadows was indeed not my imagination. I remember distinctly going through a hall that was painfully dark in REmake, and hearing the sound you never want to hear: a Crimsonhead. Auto-aim and screaming got me through that.
But I managed to get through RE4 and I will make it through RE5.
My biggest props goes to Sheva’s AI programming. I enjoyed Ashley from RE4 because she actually sometimes did things. Suddenly, we have Sheva, who will intelligently fight and heal you—as long as you know when to appropriately work with Cover/Attack. Now, keep in mind I’ve not touched the alternate control settings, but it’s so annoying that I have to waste so much time to make her attack, but it’s so easy to make her cover. Other than that, Sheva is brilliant in my opinion.
I miss the attache case, though. I really preferred the puzzle system to fit as much as possible to it compared to having nine slots per character—two of which get eaten up with additional armor you can buy. Really, the toughest part of the game to me is trying to stand there, passing items back and forth with Sheva while we’re about to get our faces ripped off by not-zombies.
I do like that you can go for upgrades whenever you hit a new level or you die, I like that you don’t need to worry about comboing treasure to make it more expensive, and I like that you can replay levels so easily. It’s very Devil May Cry (and I’m sure other games too, but if you friend me on XBL, you can see how many games I’ve played). Better yet is the ability to go replay a mission, and then just keep going. No getting kicked out to the main pick screen after you’re done like in Assassin’s Creed (my favorite series evar).
If you’re looking for that eerie environment and unsettling images, but you’re a longtime adventurer into survival horror, outside of the first sequence, you might find yourself a little disappointed. There was only one place where I found myself going, “Oh. Well, This isn’t good.” And that’s when a classic Resident Evil monster is about to come out to play (look at me being good with no spoilers).
Now, I’m not saying it’s not Resident Evil because of this. It’s just not the haunting and gut-wrenching anticipation creating Resident Evil like it used to be. They gave us daylight, and with it, it’s about surprises and stress.
Frankly, I’m thankful the video game series hasn’t fallen victim to the issue the Silent Hill franchise has, meaning falling victim to the movies. I would never buy a game again if they had. Anything that has happened similar to the movies (judging by what’s happening in RE6’s trailers) has been through a storyline progression and not just ‘so, here’s a super chick and let’s let the world all be zombies’.
Because most of the mechanics issues that I have are 95% my fault, I give RE5 a round of applause and recommend it to anyone who likes shooters, stress-inducing games, and light horror elements.
The above was written around mid-July 2012
--------------
UPDATE: I have since finished RE5. I REMAIN FIRM IN MY JUDGEMENTS THAT IT'S MOSTLY BECAUSE I'M A FAILGET AND IT'S A GOOD GAME. Story-wise, I would have liked more.
But.
It's Resident Evil. We take what we can get.
Michael Fassbender and Assassin's Creed?
NOTE: I'm moving this article from a post over on my tumblr with this same username. That's why it's slightly out of date.
Article in Question
Normally, I don’t put stock in articles declaring these sorts of things. However, the Assassin’s Creed official Facebook page did reference this link directly.
I’m personally with the commenters that say that this could work, if Fassbender was enlisted for a lead role that isn’t Altair, Ezio, Connor etc. Since Connor Kenway establishes English blood in Desmond Miles’s past, Fassbender would be a great English assassin.
Likewise, if he played the main villain, a Templar, that would rock as well.
I’m a very big fan of Michael Fassbender, and of Assassin’s Creed, but I don’t want to see the mains white-washed. It’s about time we see an awesome Middle Eastern actor get some badass showtime. (I’m sure it’s happened somewhere, but after Prince of Persia and The Last Airbender… and btw, I don’t even know Avatar.)
The big positive here is that they mention that Fassbender is going to co-produce the movie. If this is true, I hope this means he actually knows Assassin’s Creed and will do his best to make sure it stays loyal. The other big positive is that Ubisoft will have their hands on it, and after seeing Assassin’s Creed: Lineage (you can download this on X-Box Live, or find it on the interwebs on the Assassin’s Creed UK youtube channel), I hope their influence on the movie will be as great as I’m sure AC loyalists are hoping.
Normally, I don’t put stock in articles declaring these sorts of things. However, the Assassin’s Creed official Facebook page did reference this link directly.
I’m personally with the commenters that say that this could work, if Fassbender was enlisted for a lead role that isn’t Altair, Ezio, Connor etc. Since Connor Kenway establishes English blood in Desmond Miles’s past, Fassbender would be a great English assassin.
Likewise, if he played the main villain, a Templar, that would rock as well.
I’m a very big fan of Michael Fassbender, and of Assassin’s Creed, but I don’t want to see the mains white-washed. It’s about time we see an awesome Middle Eastern actor get some badass showtime. (I’m sure it’s happened somewhere, but after Prince of Persia and The Last Airbender… and btw, I don’t even know Avatar.)
The big positive here is that they mention that Fassbender is going to co-produce the movie. If this is true, I hope this means he actually knows Assassin’s Creed and will do his best to make sure it stays loyal. The other big positive is that Ubisoft will have their hands on it, and after seeing Assassin’s Creed: Lineage (you can download this on X-Box Live, or find it on the interwebs on the Assassin’s Creed UK youtube channel), I hope their influence on the movie will be as great as I’m sure AC loyalists are hoping.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Profilers
So, for my birthday in September, I received a Nook Color from my parents. It's a fantastic device, by the way. I now recommend eReaders to everyone I know.
Anyway, the first thing I did was start looking at things in the vein of psychology--specifically criminal psychology. It's something that has always fascinated me and I remember wanting to do it when I was younger, but the years have slipped away. I'm not old, but I feel old (28-years-old).
I've come to really admire the following: Roger Depue, Roy Hazelwood and John Douglas. These three men were amoung the group of firsts coming out of the tyrannic reign of Mr. Hoover in the FBI, breaking into the scene of truly professional, legally sound criminal profiling.
One thing that I noticed with their writing is that their books show their personalities very well.
Roger Depue, who used to be the supervisor of the other two, writes in a very warm and friendly manner, but is very straight-shooting about his perspective. Roy Hazelwood is incredibly informative and intelligent, but very clinical in his delivery. He is professional but clearly is eager to share his experiences.
John Douglas's books have stayed with me, however, because he's an incredibly passionate victims' rights activist. They all are for the rights of the victims (as there are understandably many in any atrocious crime), but Mr. Douglas is passionate and downright angry about his views. It reflects his no-nonsene attitude, but his deep understanding and empathy of the pains people live through when rape, torture or murder happen in their lives, to those they love.
I would never recommend any of their books if you cannot handle narrated descriptions of crime scenes. But I feel as though Mr. Douglas's books, particularly Obession, his 1998 novel that speaks extensively about and for victims, are a good read for anyone not only interested in profilers, but in how to deal with trauma and victimization. If you've ever found yourself telling a victim close to you to 'move on', you may not enjoy the harsh slap that he delivers in this book, but I think it's a good way to help you look from a different point of view.
Likewise, if you yourself are a victim, I think Obsession is a good book for you to read to know you're not alone and there are people out there that can help you without telling you to move on when you're nowhere near ready.
But again, he is writing--as are Mr. Hazelwood (who actually explores the cases I've always been most horrified by, but what made me interested in the subject at all) and Mr. Depue--to tell stories of their careers. So there will be tales about cases in the past. So this is definitely a cautionary recommendation.
(Also, because it will forever need to be said, John Douglas is said to be the inspiration for character Jack Crawford from Silence of the Lambs.)
Anyway, the first thing I did was start looking at things in the vein of psychology--specifically criminal psychology. It's something that has always fascinated me and I remember wanting to do it when I was younger, but the years have slipped away. I'm not old, but I feel old (28-years-old).
I've come to really admire the following: Roger Depue, Roy Hazelwood and John Douglas. These three men were amoung the group of firsts coming out of the tyrannic reign of Mr. Hoover in the FBI, breaking into the scene of truly professional, legally sound criminal profiling.
One thing that I noticed with their writing is that their books show their personalities very well.
Roger Depue, who used to be the supervisor of the other two, writes in a very warm and friendly manner, but is very straight-shooting about his perspective. Roy Hazelwood is incredibly informative and intelligent, but very clinical in his delivery. He is professional but clearly is eager to share his experiences.
John Douglas's books have stayed with me, however, because he's an incredibly passionate victims' rights activist. They all are for the rights of the victims (as there are understandably many in any atrocious crime), but Mr. Douglas is passionate and downright angry about his views. It reflects his no-nonsene attitude, but his deep understanding and empathy of the pains people live through when rape, torture or murder happen in their lives, to those they love.
I would never recommend any of their books if you cannot handle narrated descriptions of crime scenes. But I feel as though Mr. Douglas's books, particularly Obession, his 1998 novel that speaks extensively about and for victims, are a good read for anyone not only interested in profilers, but in how to deal with trauma and victimization. If you've ever found yourself telling a victim close to you to 'move on', you may not enjoy the harsh slap that he delivers in this book, but I think it's a good way to help you look from a different point of view.
Likewise, if you yourself are a victim, I think Obsession is a good book for you to read to know you're not alone and there are people out there that can help you without telling you to move on when you're nowhere near ready.
But again, he is writing--as are Mr. Hazelwood (who actually explores the cases I've always been most horrified by, but what made me interested in the subject at all) and Mr. Depue--to tell stories of their careers. So there will be tales about cases in the past. So this is definitely a cautionary recommendation.
(Also, because it will forever need to be said, John Douglas is said to be the inspiration for character Jack Crawford from Silence of the Lambs.)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Music: E.S. Posthumus
Have you ever heard the music in a movie trailer that sounded particularly epic, or in a television show that was equally so? Ever want to know where it came from?
Well, a lot of that music comes from the marvelous band E.S. Posthumus (or ES Posthumus).
I was once asked about the kind of music I was listening to on my iPod at work, and saying this name confused my co-worker. So the best way for me to classify it for him was to call it "EPIC MUSIC" (I spoke in capslock too). He thought it sounded like a bunch of noise, but ignore him and listen to me.
Or rather, listen to these:
UNSTOPPABLE
This is the music you will hear in the trailer for the Sherlock Holmes movie staringTony Stark Robert Downey Jr.. It was also used for some promo commercials for the NFL.
NARA
As it says, it was the opening theme to the crime show "Cold Case". I also recently heard it playing on A&E's show 'Hoarders'.
ARISE
I am trying to think of other examples, but I know for sure this was utilized during BBC's Top Gear UK, when Richard Hammond was reviewing the Lamborghini Murcielago in the same episode they were in a challenge for the best cars for seventeen year olds.
I highly recommend investing some money into this group. They have softer music, and music with lyrics. Their tracks will help inspire a creative mind and get you in the mood to do something productive with your day.
My personal favorites are those listed above, along with Selisona Pi from their Cartographer album. Give it a shot! You may find yourself going 'o hay i know that one' when taking the time to listen in the car.
Well, a lot of that music comes from the marvelous band E.S. Posthumus (or ES Posthumus).
I was once asked about the kind of music I was listening to on my iPod at work, and saying this name confused my co-worker. So the best way for me to classify it for him was to call it "EPIC MUSIC" (I spoke in capslock too). He thought it sounded like a bunch of noise, but ignore him and listen to me.
Or rather, listen to these:
UNSTOPPABLE
This is the music you will hear in the trailer for the Sherlock Holmes movie staring
NARA
As it says, it was the opening theme to the crime show "Cold Case". I also recently heard it playing on A&E's show 'Hoarders'.
ARISE
I am trying to think of other examples, but I know for sure this was utilized during BBC's Top Gear UK, when Richard Hammond was reviewing the Lamborghini Murcielago in the same episode they were in a challenge for the best cars for seventeen year olds.
I highly recommend investing some money into this group. They have softer music, and music with lyrics. Their tracks will help inspire a creative mind and get you in the mood to do something productive with your day.
My personal favorites are those listed above, along with Selisona Pi from their Cartographer album. Give it a shot! You may find yourself going 'o hay i know that one' when taking the time to listen in the car.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Review&Spoilers: The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009)
Oh my God. It's been about three days, and I'm still attempting to comprehend what I've just seen.
The Human Centipede (2009) apparently started as some sort of joke between friends regarding their thoughts on how criminals, namely pedophiles, should have their mouths sewn to the rear end chute of an overweight truck driver. Somewhere between that joke and the movie itself, the director decided this was the perfect premise of a new and original horror film. And it is, but wow.
***** SPOILERS W/ SCREENCAPS AHEAD (may be NSFW) *****
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Bug War
I live in a pretty small town. Bugs are a pretty huge constant here. We have farm animals and massive irrigation ditches, and it's kind of amusing. I'm pretty phobic of bugs. That is to say, I'm incredibly phobic of bugs. I can't manage to step on them 95% of the time because I freak out. Coincidentally, I freak out less when I'm alone, versus with friends or family.
Anyway, today, I had my nails done and I had almost an hour and a half to spare before an appointment for a facial. So, I decided to drive around our little, desolate town. It was important anyway, because my Chevy has been an absolute disaster. Every year as spring rolls around, it screws up when I have to start periodically activating the air conditioner. To do this test, I headed out to an area with fields and houses every mile or so. The speed limit was 50mph, and I had the windows rolled halfway down because the damage was done, the A/C didn't need to be on for me to figure out things were not working.
As I'm cruising along, actually with the intent to weed back around to head to downtown (all two blocks of it), I heard a soft thump against the window at my side. Something in my head realized what was happening. It was confirmed, as a spike of pain shot through my back, starting at my shoulder blade. I knew what was going on. A bee had managed to get sucked into my car and landed between my back and the car. So I did the most logical thing, and that was to start flinging myself back against the seat to kill the bitch. Nevermind that a bee dies after the initial sting.
A flat off-road area came near and I skidded off onto it and threw open my door and tossed the seatbelt as I was still firmly pressed against the seat, determined to at least suffocate it. A moment was taken to brace myself for whatever hideous, bug-guts-everywhere scene I would face, along with the probability that I didn't kill it, it hadn't died, and things would get ugly.
Flailing from the car, I started ripping at my shirt like a mad woman, convinced it was still there and waiting for me. I very nearly ripped my entire shirt off, thus giving the few passers by quite the show. But my shirt was clean, other than a little tan bit. Cool. This was good. It stung, the bee body was on the floor of the car, and I remembered that my mother has horrific allergic reactions to bee stings., My phobia wouldn't allow me to dispose of the body, but I was able to grab my phone. A failed attempt to call my father, I was on the phone with her (having woke her up, whoops). No, I wasn't having a reaction, because it would have hit really quick.
I headed over, she checked it, it looked sore but alright. I went to my facial appointment with my windows firmly sealed and my poorly running A/C on, burning up gas. I came back, and requested my father extract the body of my vicious attacker. He did, at which point I was informed that it wasn't a bee. It was a wasp. So had I not been so keen on beating it to death with my back, it would have continued to sting me over and over and over. :|
I live in a pretty small town. Bugs are a pretty huge constant here. We have farm animals and massive irrigation ditches, and it's kind of amusing. I'm pretty phobic of bugs. That is to say, I'm incredibly phobic of bugs. I can't manage to step on them 95% of the time because I freak out. Coincidentally, I freak out less when I'm alone, versus with friends or family.
Cue tonight.
Sitting here, minding my own business, my spidey-sense obviously went off because I randomly chanced a glance at the ceiling iver my headm and there was a spider on the ceiling. I did the mature thing and shouted there was a spider on the ceiling above me. As my father wandered off to find spray, I made sure to do a play-by-play on what I was seeing the spider doing, as that is obviously very helpful. "Oh my god, IT'S EATING ANOTHER BUG. ...well, not now, because it dropped it into the floor lamp. OH MY GOD THERE ARE ANTS ON THE CEILING."
They weren't ants, just little gnats that flew in when we've been going in and out.
So, he sprayed it. Over and over, actually, as it didn't want to die. It walked the ceiling, I screamed and hauled ass across the room because gsdghs and my back (it's a bad back) shrieked but I didn't care. My choice was wise. It fell soon after, and I was going on about how it landed where I sit and he needed to check the pillows and the blanket and the cushion because it hit the couch arm and rolled one way or the other. My father couldn't find it. I made sure to maturely yell at him to check the blanket and pillow I was using, while my mother sat across the room and laughed at me--alongside him. Still, nothing could be found.
I've spent the whole night somewhat sore still from the sting, very sore with my back, and convinced that 5/21/2011 would cause the spider to rise again, and it would bite me in its new, upgraded zombie form.
I really do hate bugs.
Anyway, today, I had my nails done and I had almost an hour and a half to spare before an appointment for a facial. So, I decided to drive around our little, desolate town. It was important anyway, because my Chevy has been an absolute disaster. Every year as spring rolls around, it screws up when I have to start periodically activating the air conditioner. To do this test, I headed out to an area with fields and houses every mile or so. The speed limit was 50mph, and I had the windows rolled halfway down because the damage was done, the A/C didn't need to be on for me to figure out things were not working.
As I'm cruising along, actually with the intent to weed back around to head to downtown (all two blocks of it), I heard a soft thump against the window at my side. Something in my head realized what was happening. It was confirmed, as a spike of pain shot through my back, starting at my shoulder blade. I knew what was going on. A bee had managed to get sucked into my car and landed between my back and the car. So I did the most logical thing, and that was to start flinging myself back against the seat to kill the bitch. Nevermind that a bee dies after the initial sting.
A flat off-road area came near and I skidded off onto it and threw open my door and tossed the seatbelt as I was still firmly pressed against the seat, determined to at least suffocate it. A moment was taken to brace myself for whatever hideous, bug-guts-everywhere scene I would face, along with the probability that I didn't kill it, it hadn't died, and things would get ugly.
Flailing from the car, I started ripping at my shirt like a mad woman, convinced it was still there and waiting for me. I very nearly ripped my entire shirt off, thus giving the few passers by quite the show. But my shirt was clean, other than a little tan bit. Cool. This was good. It stung, the bee body was on the floor of the car, and I remembered that my mother has horrific allergic reactions to bee stings., My phobia wouldn't allow me to dispose of the body, but I was able to grab my phone. A failed attempt to call my father, I was on the phone with her (having woke her up, whoops). No, I wasn't having a reaction, because it would have hit really quick.
I headed over, she checked it, it looked sore but alright. I went to my facial appointment with my windows firmly sealed and my poorly running A/C on, burning up gas. I came back, and requested my father extract the body of my vicious attacker. He did, at which point I was informed that it wasn't a bee. It was a wasp. So had I not been so keen on beating it to death with my back, it would have continued to sting me over and over and over. :|
I live in a pretty small town. Bugs are a pretty huge constant here. We have farm animals and massive irrigation ditches, and it's kind of amusing. I'm pretty phobic of bugs. That is to say, I'm incredibly phobic of bugs. I can't manage to step on them 95% of the time because I freak out. Coincidentally, I freak out less when I'm alone, versus with friends or family.
Cue tonight.
Sitting here, minding my own business, my spidey-sense obviously went off because I randomly chanced a glance at the ceiling iver my headm and there was a spider on the ceiling. I did the mature thing and shouted there was a spider on the ceiling above me. As my father wandered off to find spray, I made sure to do a play-by-play on what I was seeing the spider doing, as that is obviously very helpful. "Oh my god, IT'S EATING ANOTHER BUG. ...well, not now, because it dropped it into the floor lamp. OH MY GOD THERE ARE ANTS ON THE CEILING."
They weren't ants, just little gnats that flew in when we've been going in and out.
So, he sprayed it. Over and over, actually, as it didn't want to die. It walked the ceiling, I screamed and hauled ass across the room because gsdghs and my back (it's a bad back) shrieked but I didn't care. My choice was wise. It fell soon after, and I was going on about how it landed where I sit and he needed to check the pillows and the blanket and the cushion because it hit the couch arm and rolled one way or the other. My father couldn't find it. I made sure to maturely yell at him to check the blanket and pillow I was using, while my mother sat across the room and laughed at me--alongside him. Still, nothing could be found.
I've spent the whole night somewhat sore still from the sting, very sore with my back, and convinced that 5/21/2011 would cause the spider to rise again, and it would bite me in its new, upgraded zombie form.
I really do hate bugs.
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